(Updated 4/4/07) So…turns out it was a ruse concocted by Mister Moore. More here from the L.A. Times
(With apologies to Thomas Jefferson)
When in the course of television events it becomes necessary for one viewer to dissolve the entertaining bands which have connected them with a show and to assume among the powers of viewers, a separate and equal channel to which the laws of Tivo and of Comcast’s authority entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of the audience requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all shows are created equal, that they are endowed by their writers with certain unalienable expectations, that among these are life for beloved characters, liberty to pursue creative story lines and the pursuit of happiness for the viewers. That to secure these expectations, hit television shows are instituted among the audience, deriving their just powers from the consent of the viewers not to channel surf. That whenever any form of TV show becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the audience to alter or abolish their Tivo season pass and to institute new iTunes downloading favorites, laying its foundations on such principles and organizing its viewing habits in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their entertainment and happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that shows long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that audiences are more disposed to suffer lapses in continuity or an occasional clunker episode, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abandoning the shows to which they are accustomed. But when a terrible decision usurping a favorite character, pursuing invariably a writer’s self-absorbtion evinces a design to reduce the audience to absolute hurling of objects at their screens, it is is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such shows and to provide their Nielsen eyeballs elsewhere.
Such has been the unexpected sufferance of this Battlestar Galactica viewer; and such is now the necessity which constrains him to alter his former viewing habits. The history of the present creator and producer of Battlestar Galactica is a history of repeated injuries and usurpation of a favorite character, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute jumping of the shark. To prove this, let these facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his assent to unraveling the show’s central mysteries, the most wholesome and necessary requirement for the fans of a long-running space opera.
He has forbidden most of his characters from moving beyond obvious and pressing stereotypes.
He has, most egregiously, created one compelling, unpredictable and fascinating character defying both TV conventions and gender stereotypes only to kill her for no reason and without endeavoring to advance the plot of his series one iota after having many times promoted said character’s special destiny.
He has redefined said special destiny to mean simply a suicide, an empty and hollow end to a noble but troubled character who deserved better than to die in a meaningless crash that generated great shock value for a solitary episode while disrupting the rhythm of a long-running ensemble cast show.
He has celebrated on his podcast that his sudden and previously unimagined decision to kill said character was because he “sort of fell in love with the audacity of it.” And that he was “really attracted to doing it because of the shock value of it, because it was risky and it was upsetting and it jangled your conception of what the show was.”
He has ignored the terrible toll suffered by a prior show he co-executive produced, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, when one of its leading and most beloved characters abandon ship prior to the show’s seventh and final season, as said departure prompted a horrific recasting that left the final season adrift and unwatchable.
And he has ignored the most basic rule of prior sci-fi television shows that being the fundamental truth that writers require several seasons to uncover the most interesting actors, most compelling traits of actors and most watchable interplay among actors in an ensemble cast.
We, therefore, representative of the united States of America TV viewing public, appealing to the supreme science fiction fans of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do in the name and by the authority of the good audiences of Battlestar Galactica, solemnly publish, blog and declare that these united viewers are and of right ought to be free and up for grabs, that they absolved from all allegiance to Ronald D. Moore’s crown, and that all fandom’s connection between them and Battlestar Galactica is and ought to be totally dissolved.
And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the creativity of other TV writers, we mutually pledge to each other our Nielsen influence, our viewing habits and our sacred honor.
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